February 2012
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so I wonder what it's like for their kids
Daughter: But Mom I'm too lazy to clean my r-
Katniss: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE
Katniss: I HAD TO KILL CHILDREN
Katniss: SO I THINK THAT YOU CAN
Daughter: Mom you always pull this speech on-
Katniss: CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM
Peeta: ALSO
Peeta: YOUR MOM DID IT ALL FOR THE GAMES
Peeta: SOMETIMES I WANT TO CHOKE HER OUT OF NOWHERE
Daughter: Dad why are you even-
Peeta: MY LEG IS GONEEEEEEEEEEEE.
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I'm giving up tumblr for Lent.
fishingboatproceeds:
…is an example of something I would say if I had willpower or moral courage.
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When teachers are in the way and you're trying to...
Need a laugh? Click here!
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Friend: You read too much. Surely that's a bit unhealthy?
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me: I HOPE YOU GET REAPED INTO THE HUNGER GAMES AND THEN DIE AND GET TURNED INTO A FORSAKEN AND THEN GET WHIPPED BY DRAKE WHILST WEARING HADES' GYM SHORTS AND EATEN BY THE BEAST AND NEVER TURN PRETTY AND GET POSSESSED BY A REMNANT AND GET AVADA KEDAVRA'D BY VOLDEMORT
Me: wait what
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This is no joke, it really happened in my first...
My EMR instructor: You arrive at a scene with a patient laying on the ground. You check their level of alertness and they appear unconscious. You have already opened their airway with an adjunct and are administering oxygen.
What do you do next?
Student: Call 911!
My EMR Instructor: YOU ARE 911.
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